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23 July 2013 @ 04:35 pm
so today i went to my occupational therapy observation in a summer school setting and LOVED IT. on my way home i picked up some smoothie juices by odwalla and naked. the only issue is that im allergic to bananas ( just like itchy mouth/throat from it ) and it is in EVERY one basically! its crazy. im going to test it out and see if it causes any reaction, im sure ill be fine! i also picked up some whey protein and slim fast shake powder, ( which i love ). ANNDDDD drum roll please!!! when i got home at 1pm from my observation i was 128.5! noooowww i know this is because i hadnt really had food, and because i didnt really have water, ANNNDD because im taking lots of decongestants which really dehydrate me, BUT i was ecstatic! (: so yeah
25 June 2013 @ 04:38 pm
I'm starting to feel as though maybe Live Journal isn't where I am supposed to be. I miss the days when Xanga was at the focal point for the pro-ana world. If you wanted to starve yourself skinny then you could find wonderful support there and meet people just like yourself. Sure, I posted tons of thinspo and I got really skinny but I can't say I was beautiful. Looking back I had an amazing body but you could see it in my eyes that I wasn't happy, nor was I very healthy. My diet and actions led to me finding out I had thyroid cancer when I was 22. I just got so sick that winter and couldn't get over it. I went to so many doctors that winter telling me that my thyroid was enlarged. After much testing it was found that I was in hypo thyroid no one could figure out why I was so skinny since my thyroid was no longer working. I trudged on and even after the diagnosis I was still craving working out, thinking that if I stopped for a day I'd become a fatty. When I finally gave up the fight to workout I didn't gain any weight, I maintained. Sure, I lost muscle but that wasn't what I wanted, the number on the scale is all that mattered. During my sickness my fiancee left me because he thought I was lazy and that being sick had changed me. I'm sorry, but if you're missing the little organ that gives you energy, controls your mood, your heart, your everything, energy...then you might be a little lazy and pissy. Good riddance, Thursday would have been our 4 year wedding anniversary and I have half a mind to email him and tell him all the things I've accomplished since he left (things he didn't believe I could do) and rub it in his face how awesome I am. But I digress, that's another blog that's planned for Thursday.

Fast forward 5 years (has it really been that long?) I am still in to dieting I still want the perfect body. I'm not as skinny as I used to be. I'm about 10 pounds heavier but that's down 15 pounds from where I was at the beginning of 2012. I gained the weight because I was working a desk job and in a very comfortable relationship. It was with someone I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but I watched him change into a stranger, a drunken, no, alcoholic stranger. I didn't want that for myself. I let him go and watched him spiral out of control to the night he called me from the hospital after he tried to kill himself. I separated myself from him but I let him back in, months later to give him a chance, he was better but it still wasn't right so, last summer when I moved to Florida I let him go. I loved him and still do but it couldn't and wouldn't have worked out.

The point of this post was I was looking for like minded people who would do anything and everything to lose weight and I was looking for people who wouldn't judge me for my failures and successes no matter how weirdly it took to get them. I haven't found that yet but I still want to. I want to be able to blog about my first boyfriend and how I loved him more than life an how on July 1st it would have been our 10 year anniversary and how on that day I don't even know where my emotions will be because that night, 10 years ago, was still the best night of my life it changed who I was forever. I don't go a day without thinking of him and no matter how happy my relationships are I still think of him, he has single handedly been the reason for so many of my breakups because "I just can't let go" and I know this I'll be like that forever.

But the thing is, I am not a fucked up person. What I write on my blog is just a series of thoughts that need to be written out, once they're on this figurative paper we call a blog then I can let go and go back to normal, even if days later the same thoughts plague me again. I'm probably one of the most well rounded people I know. I don't like drama, I don't cause drama and I avoid it too. But sometimes I just want to vent, maybe because I am so chill. I want to say that even though Joe has been married for 4 years and has a kid with the girl he left me for I still want him, maybe I don't even want him I want who I was when I was with him.

I want to sound crazy in my posts and get positive feedback from it. I know I'm all over the place, I'm a woman and that's what we do. Where is the pro-ana crowd or the ones that workout and then look beautiful and still hate their bodies? I need their support and I can't seem to find them and I must do it before Xanga is gone forever.
15 March 2013 @ 01:36 am
Hey my Name's Eden and i'm joining this community to read stories about others journeys threw weight loss and to share my own.

Age : 29
Hieght : 5'6
Weight : Started with 245...not certain what i am right now. :P
Goal Weight : 130

I started with baby steps last month and they've been working really well for me thus far. I'm fitting into clothes better, I have more stamina and I feel better. I'm just not the best at keeping on absolute track with food because I'm a sweets addict. I did Cut out soda completely and my sweets intake has taking a very serious nosedive. I've also, slowly but surely, started making more and more healthier choices in my food consumption.
I dont have a digital scale and thats why i haven't been weighing myself. I will be picking on up hopefully tomorrow and my first real weight in will be the 28th and thats the first small goal I've set up for myself.
  Looking forwards to hearing from you guys and reading up on your journeys.
09 September 2012 @ 12:47 pm
Hey everyone, 

I'm new here so thought I'd say hi and give you a bit of background.

I started doing the Weight Watchers program back in January of this year. When I started I was 280lbs and by June I had lost 24lbs. I then fell pregnant and stopped following the program. Sadly I had a miscarriage last month, so now in order to hopefully conceive again I want to lose more weight. We had been trying for a baby for over a year before I fell pregnant and that was just after losing the weight, so to me that says there's a definite correlation!

According to my bathroom scales I currently weigh 256.6lbs, so not much has changed since June, but there's a slight discrepency because they're different scales and I used to get weighed in different clothes, but it'll only be a few pounds.
So I've decided I'm going to start the WW program again, but I'm not going back to the classes. I don't think there's any need to waste that money now I know how the program works and have all the program material that I need. However, because I won't have the support of the meetings, I'll probably need the support of the other group members here!

I don't have a goal right now, I just want to start eating healthily and lose as much weight as I can before I fall pregnant again. I'm also getting married in 3 weeks, and although I won't be visably lighter by then, I think I will feel better. When I first started WW I lost 7lbs in the first 2 weeks, so if I can do that before my wedding, I'll be happy!

Looking forward to reading your entries and sharing my journey with you all!

Elsie :)
20 August 2012 @ 01:57 pm

I am new to livej ournal so i am wondering where to start... my motivation behind starting this blog is to aid in my weight loss. I have always struggled with my weight and have been constantly been giving in to new fad diets and weighloss secrets until I realized that I had to cut out all the bullshit of fad diets that get you nowhere is to eat healthy and exercise.. the problem with that is i lack motivation and the drive to change my life regardless of any realizations I have made or continue to make.. one of the things that i have recently came addicted to was pinterest. One of the pins i found was linked to the benefits of creating a weightloss blog to keep up on a healthy eating and exercise program.. so here I am, a very personal person spilling my struggles on the internet hoping that I finally found the motivation I have been searching for since i realized that i could no longer cope with being fat..

So a little more about me, I am 20 years old  5'2 and 180 pounds. My goal weight would be a healthy BMI for my height which works out to be around 130 pounds which means my weight loss goal would be 50 pounds.. thats alot of work which will take along time to accomplish but i am ready to change my life. the most i have ever weighed was 198 pounds and at that point was finally my wake up call to change my life.. i have always held back in life based on my weight and i no longer want that to happen in the the last month and a half i went from 194 pounds to 173, but recently have fell of the wagon so to speak and gained 7 pounds back of what i recently loss.. it is very fustrating to know that i am slipping back into old habits but it is very hard, so i have turned to blogging .The funny thing is that i have felt the best when i was exerising and eating healthy whether it be the compliments of people saying have you lost weight ( which is a constant reminder that you are fat) or the overall feeling better healthwise, and of course the feeling when you fit into a smaller size jean or clothes that where once to small fit again.

What I hope to accomplish with this blog is to finally get my fustrations about weightloss  and healthy living off my chest as well as continue slow and steady on my weightloss journey. To record my goals whether it be from eating or fitness and to remind myself that i should not turn to dieting but to a change in lifestlye to a healthy one.Also to record a daily food journal to keep me motivated and on track.. To record my current weight each with along with my measurment to track my progress and to not get discouraged because weightloss is a very difficult thing that is not achieved over night. To know that it is okay to cheat and to fall of the wagon, but to remember to always hop back on it and keep going.

To anyone reading this, this blog is for personal motivation and expression. I expect to have no readers due to my lameness but i gladly except any support ,comments and tips to keep me motivated because trying to lose alot of weight is very difficult to due without support and support is something I need as it is something i dont have alot of when it comes to real life. I find it very hard to express myself and open up to people in life and by doing it here i feel like I would be less  embarrassed because i struggle with my weight i know everyone does but i guess its just who i am not to burden anyone with my problems or let people know what i am going through.. anyways thanks to anyone who is reading or not reading I really hope to keep up this blog everyday to stay on track and to finally conquer my struggles and live life to the fullest.

16 August 2012 @ 02:13 pm
Hey everyone!
Just looking for some online journal buddies to share weight loss journey's with. I am in the process of trying to lose 50-60 pounds after having my 2 children. Would love to be friends with others trying to do the same.
14 August 2012 @ 11:16 am
I am looking for something very simple: a friend to email my weight every morning, to hold myself accountable. We can chat and get to know each other, but I don't expect lengthy email exchanges since I'm very busy. Simply someone who can commit to an exchange of weight every single morning without fail or excuses. Weighing myself daily is one thing that keeps me on track.

Anyone here interested?
14 April 2012 @ 01:37 pm
I have been heavy my entire life. Not obese, just heavy, chubby, overweight. However you'd like to describe it. I was normal weight during my childhood, but when I hit adolescence, around age 12 or 13 I entered into the world of 'overweight citizen' and have never left. I'm changing that in the next 11 weeks. My current stats are below...

Age: 25
Height: 5'2''
Weight: 152 lbs
Goal Weight: 120 lbs

I can't figure out the lj-cut so I the link to my page is below...


08 April 2012 @ 01:13 pm
Hi everyone! I'm new to the community and wanted to introduce myself.

I'm 30 years old, 5'9, and am 156lbs. Between the time I was 16 and 21 I lost about 100lbs and ended up losing 30 more in the years that followed as I became more interested in health, nutrition, and exercise. For the last several years I've been fluctuating in the low 150s, but over the last 6 months moved into the upper half of the 150s. Even though I've lost all that weight, I never reached my goal which is to be somewhere around 130.

I actually started this journal about a year and a half ago only to let it die as my job became my life and the internet became a became a distant dream that I rarely had time for. But things have settled down, and I've decided that now is the time and that I would like to lose those pesky ~25lbs and hopefully about 4 inches off my waist. So far I'm down 3lbs and am excited to push forward.

So, with that said, a lot of the communities I joined before are mostly inactive and so are most of the people I friended at that time, so I'm looking for new LiveJournal buddies who are also trying to lose weight. I'd love to have people on my friend list who I can encourage and who can encourage me.

06 April 2012 @ 10:05 pm
Hello everyone!

I'm new to this community, I've just set up an online blog shop via livejournal. This is a school project, I've been tasked to set up an online blog shop, since I'm personally quite a fitness freak and i always provide advice for friends who wants to lose weight, I've decided to sell this service.

Basically what I'm selling is how to lose weight. We customize a diet plan and work out exercises for people who wants to lose weight through the healthy way. We also provide consulting services with regards to healthy living and losing weight.

Do check it out at my livejournal :  http://hammieteo.livejournal.com/

Hammie & Friends